Into The Black Tides Tuesdays: Homunculus

Good evening, my abysmal amigos, and welcome to this week’s edition of Into the Black Tides Tuesdays! I know, I know – how can it be Week 5 already? It feels like just yesterday we were becoming acquainted through computer screens, and now we’re basically besties!

I figured I’d start things off on a light note with a little joke – what’s dark red and artificial in flavor? The blood of a Homunculus! When it comes to carrying out nefarious deeds deemed worthy of undertaking by their creators, these guys (things?) have you covered.

More than Just a Lab Rat

Sure, Homunculi may have been created in a lab by some mad scientist-type with a God complex, but that doesn’t mean they don’t have passions. Carefully engineered passions that coincide with their masters, maybe, but passions nonetheless.

There are the occasional Homunculi that have interests of their own – the way their masters intended! These interests include, but are not limited to: baking, stabbing, water polo, stabby baking, hand grenade hot potato, and a variety of other everyday activities that you would find someone doing around the house. Like they say, the way to a Homunculus’s heart is directly through the carotid artery with a pair of rusty scissors!

Illustrated by Vincent Baker

Illustrated by Vincent Baker

One is the Loneliest Number

Since Homunculi are genetically engineered in a tube in some hidden laboratory beneath the planet's crust, there isn’t really room for family ties. You know, the whole tube thing, and all – it’s kind of hard to fit twins in those things. As a result, many Homunculi go through life alone. “But they have their master!” you might say. Well, yeah. But if your “father figure” was a mad scientist hellbent on the destruction of the world as we know it, tensions may run a little high in your “family” as well.

Not to mention that when your “dad” names you Labor, you can't help but to hold a bit of a grudge.

However, despite the rough family life, it isn’t entirely uncommon to see a Homunculus with a traveling buddy. They don’t make for great conversation, but they sure are handy to have in a fight with the whole “artificial life” thing going on. Homunculi are expendable! Just don’t let them hear you saying that.

The End of the Program

Unfortunately, that’s all the time we have for this week’s Into the Black Tides Tuesdays. I can hear the Wolfhounds howling in HR, so that means I’ve hit my word count for the day. Lucky for you guys, we’ll be back in just under 168 hours to bring you another article so that you can get that Into the Black Tides fix you’ve come to crave each week.

As always, remember to subscribe to our newsletter so that you don’t miss out on any exciting updates! Oh, and one last thing – if you were a bio-engineered Homunculus living day-to-day life, what would your master “program” you to do? Let us know in the comments below, or on our Facebook page!

Until next time, my Franken-Friends,


Wait, you missed our last Into The Black Tides Tuesdays? Check them out below! 

Into The Black Tides Tuesdays: Anointed Human

Into The Black Tides Tuesdays: Soul Eater

Into The Black Tides Tuesdays: Phobias

Into The Black Tides Tuesdays: Destoka

Edited by Abby Edwards


Vincent Baker

Hello! The name is Vincent Baker and I'm a game designer. I love video games, but my heart is in tabletop games .I've created Otherworlds and Spellslingers.

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